Pine Trees Lightning Motherboards

If you have lost several motherboards, routers and modems to lightning strikes, you need to consider the population and placement of pine trees around the location of your computer equipment, and their effect amplifying the harm lightning can cause.

  • Inductive amplification. The pine needle is a perfect form for gaussian magnification and the re-transmission of differential Fourier wave front potential.
  • Positional capacitance. The place of trees to the north and south of said computer equipment ramps up the effects.
  • Hilltoppiness. This should explain itself.
  • Granitular foundation. The subsoil can also lead to amplification, where a lack of porosity due to non clay barriers increases the strength of a static strike.
  • R’s and D’s in the street address. Because nearby street signs also are a factor in the net voltage potential, streets that begin in R and end in D have the greatest risk. If they are a ‘road’ it could double the potential.

Before we continue, a poem;

A home transformed by the lightning 
the balanced alcoves smother 
this insatiable earth of a planet, Earth. 
They attacked it with mechanical horns 
because they love you, love, in fire and wind. 
You say, what is the time waiting for in its spring? 
I tell you it is waiting for your branch that flows, 
because you are a sweet-smelling diamond architecture 
that does not know why it grows.

We also must have a discussion of weather patterns that move from west to east. And a soft boiled egg, buttered toast and orange juice.